C is for Cute

Sweetness

Brothers

Delirium, Justin, killer flu, Who needs a dining room table!

I can't believe it's been a month since I last blogged. What a month it's been.
My dear old Dad is doing well. It's been really tough and heartbreaking. My Dad asked me yesterday what was wrong with him. When I asked him what he meant he told me he woke up from surgery and he wasn't the same. This is the first time he has shown any acknowledgment to the fact that he is NOT the same. A month ago the man came to Tristan's 5th Birthday party walked down my stairs into the car out of the car into the hospital for his surgery the next morning. When he awoke from surgery he was dramatically altered. Whether he has Delirium or if the surgery has caused his Dementia to progress quickly is the question. A month later Dad still isn't up walking like before or even able to swallow solids. He is on a Puree/minced diet and can't manage even a soft piece of fish. These I know are common problems in Alzheimer's and Dementia patients BUT it usually happens slowly over time. So there is a really good chance that Dad has suffered from Delirium which is reversible and in time he may regain his previous skills. So this is what we pray and hope for. Dad will be going to a Rehabilitation centre as soon as they can get his UT and chest Infections under control. He has come a long way. He went from memories in the 50's and not remembering me to asking me how Chanelle is doing and sobbing when it comes time for me to leave as he misses me when I'm not there. Although this is sad it is also Joyous! He knows me and loves and misses me. A few weeks ago I was praying he would regain his memory and he has. My Dad is back and fighting and one day he will walk up my stairs into my home for Saturday movie day. These are my prayers, hopes and dreams :)
This is a month for dreams coming true. My first born who I have not seen in 3 years has been here for a visit. I moved from Vancouver 3 years ago and Justin decided he wanted to stay. Broke my heart but I understood as well. We finally got to have a visit. My parents, sister and I all chipped in and bought him a plane ticket for his 21st Birthday. He came for 2 weeks. Sadly we all got the flu and were sick for most of his visit. Didn't matter though it was nice to have him here. Sick or not. The four of us snuggled up in bed and ate soup and watched the "Life goes on" box set and many other movies and it was just like old times.

Here is a photo of Tristan that makes my heart soar. One of the things alot of people have been preoccupied about is whether or not Tristan will learn to eat with a fork and spoon. I have never been too concerned. I use up all my concerns on little things like will he have to have a feed tube or fundo surgery because he's eroding his esophagus away. Anyway just thought I'd post this up for all those with worry and concern! Not only does he use a spoon he also can balance a bowl of soup on his lap while sitting on the sofa and singing the ABC's along with Rachel from signing time. LOL To all you new Mom's with Chromosomally enhanced children that read my blog. Please don't waste one precious moment worrying over such trivial things. Trust me you'll regret it. Spend your time focusing on your baby because before you know it they'll be all grown up and independent!

Praying from home

I have a cold. Not good! Means I can't visit my Dad. It's officially a week since surgery and Dad has gotten a little better everyday. He has a long way to go though. He isn't really opening his eyes or talking much but he does recognize us so that's a good thing. This has been the longest week of my life. I can't wait to see my Dad's smile. It is going to be a moment of celebration. I already miss him more than words can express.
Tristan and I had a chance to play with his new puzzles. His Aunty Cindy sent them for his Birthday. Most of Tristan's Favorite things are made by Melissa and Doug and they are Mommy approved. These are the best puzzles ever! I just love his counting. Proud Mom :) You have to turn the volume up to hear

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Dad is out of Surgery.

They weren't able to get to the Aneurysm Via Catheter and had to do open but he is doing well! He is in ICU but stable and we have gotten a few smiles. I appreciate all the prayers :) Thank you everyone!!

Tristan had his party today and.......

His Grandpa went into the hospital right after. My father has an Aneurysm and tomorrow morning they will remove it. Once he is all healed and home I bet you'll notice alot more blog posts. Here is a photo we took this afternoon. My parents, Myself, My children and My sister and her 2 children. Pray Pray pray Please!

Oh and here is the cake I baked. Can you tell which color is missing? LOL

We have all come so far

Today my baby turned 5 years old. Feeling a little melancholy and Joy all at once. My last baby is growing up way too fast. This time of year is a tough one for me. Tristan's Birth is definately something I celebrate. Of course come on look at him he's awesome. BUT At the same time it always stirs up the bad feelings too. The fear and sorrow I experienced when I first heard the words "I think your son has Down Syndrome. I am so sorry" It felt like someone hit me in the back of the head with a brick. I didn't even know what it meant. Of course I had heard of Down Syndrome and saw a few people that had Down syndrome but what did it mean. I didn't actually know someone that had this extra Chromosome. All through elementry school and high school never once did I see a child that had Down Syndrome. Where did they hide all these children. Yes these were some of my first thoughts. I also thought I should have 5 or 6 more children just to be sure one of Tristan's sibilings would want to care for him once I grew old and no longer could. I giggle about that one now. Yes I have come far too. Today I no longer expect either of his sibilings to take care of him. In fact I am quite confindent that he will be just fine. He may need their love and guidance but who doesn't need that from their family. Luckily our society has come far too. We no longer hide children with Down Syndrome away. We advocate fiercely and passionately. The past 5 years have flown by so quickly. I am so proud of how far we have come. Thank you sweet boy for all you have taught me. I am truely blessed!

-27 and -37 with the wind chill!!

So we are staying in for a few days. EEK! Hurry up spring!! I know it's not even February yet. I usually despise winter but have been enjoying it up until the past few days. I can't take this kind of cold!

To share or not to share

After my latest attack I have been left wondering if I even want to blog or discuss my life at all online. After plenty of consideration I have decided to continue. I have recieved numerous e-mails and comments over the past few years from New parents. That is one of main reasons for sharing our Journey. I don't sugar coat our lives I keep it real. Life isn't always easy but whose life is?? I remember being so afraid and alone after Tristan was born. It was the message boards and blogs that helped me through the first few years. In the end the few awful people out there can't win. I am not sure why I let it weigh on my heart so heavily but I have been really upset by this. I think the main reason is I am super sensitive right now. I am in the process of registering Tristan for kindergarten. I am going to send him out there to a school where he will be one of the few children that are different. Although he has been in Early intervention Preschool since he was 18 months old. This just isn't the same. Tristan has been lucky enough to have the same Educator every year and she is the best. I am really sad because in a few months we will have to say goodbye. I am not sure if I could have made it through the past few years without her. She is a wonderful educator and has been such a huge support for me. It is on to a new place and new people. Although I feel certain that there will be awesome supportive people at the new school I can't help but feel afraid. I often hear people say "Change is good" I'm not feeling it right now. Note to self: keep reading your favorite poem and smile because it's going to be just fine



ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost

I got an anonymous comment from someone today that really stung! I was told that "I am an Irresponsible person because I didn't have an amnio and abortion." (this is what you get when you join anti abortion groups on facebook) Apparently "I have ruined my daughters life by forcing her to grow up with a retarded brother." I wish this type of Ignorance didn't hurt but even though I have grown and know it is not factual. I have to admit it still leaves me feeling broken and ANGRY! I made this montage and am leaving it everywhere I visit and advocate online. Just in case anyone else stumbles across us and doesn't get it!! When I discussed this with Chanelle her response was......."What?? Don't they know I am lucky. I wish I could use the F word on them they are not smart!!" This alone has cushioned the blow :) I just hope and pray that no one ever ever ever says something so hurtful to her face. If someone ever called her brother retarded I think it would break her heart. This is the reason we even had a conversation. I am concerned that this could happen one day and I felt discussing it before hand might better prepare her. Tristan will be attending kindergarten at her school next year. Yea so basically the reality is? Hmm let's see?? I am not ruining anything, it is mean people like you that will make my daughters life harder. As you can see in the montage she and her brother are doing just fine!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com